For the first time in the last four years, I refused to wear the white ribbon. In the previous years I’ve been proud to wear the white ribbon against pornography that was graciously offered by the Catholic Women’s League of my parish. I wore it strait through the week on my suit at work as a testimony to the real problem of pornography in our society. This year however, I was not offered a white ribbon against pornography, but a white ribbon against internet bullying.
“Internet Bullying?“ I asked, “I thought the white ribbon was against pornography?” “Oh it’s the same thing if you think about it” came the quick response of an aging hipster at the door. At this point I became so frustrated and enraged that I broke with my usual decorum in Church and actually blurted out “what kind of feminist nonsense is that?” But being a man of faith, I at least when to know when not to push my extra-religious ideological views on others and took my pew.
Yet this incident has continued to bother me. And it really is an extension of a previous blog I’ve posted regarding the Feminist misandry against male sexuality in the Catholic Church at the moment (
http://durstonia.blogspot.com/2011/06/man-bashing-as-catholic-mainstay.html). In fairness I do not know if this new association regarding the white ribbon is actual or the personal tack on of that particular woman. However that’s not the point.
The point is that at the door of the church, each and every man was presented with a ribbon that said if he was struggling with a sex addiction or struggling with internet pornography, he was not just struggling with unrestrained sexuality, but he was somehow being violent toward women. For let’s be honest; when one says bullying, one’s immediate mental picture is of violence. And contrary to feminist belief, Men are almost exclusively the primary consumers of pornography. So now men, whose natural sexuality is inclined to gain sexual attraction and excitement visually is not only the sin of promiscuity, but violence as well. This is a hateful demonizing of male sexuality that permeates our society.
This incredibly mean spirited and vicious attack against men who come to Christ with their struggles is reprehensible and inappropriate. I proudly wore the white ribbon against pornography because pornography negatively effects everyone who participates in it, regardless of sex or relation. It’s a protest against those that are exploited by pornography, and those who exploit it. But the fussing of internet bullying to pornography now excludes the main victims of pornography and emphasizes the minority victims. That is to say, it creates a female privileged position in the campaign that moves the issue from universal victimization of pornography, to the users of pornography being violent victimizers themselves.
Only a complete moron would suggest I am supporting or excusing the viewing of pornography. However, if one looks rationally at the relationships within pornography we will see that men are the most negatively effected; not women. Women are paid to make pornography. Except for a small number in production, men pay for pornography. Men become addicted to pornography, and men demonized for it. Pornography is marketed and targeted at men with a ruthlessness that women cannot even come close to conceptualizing. And when a man succumbs to this barrage of psychological marketing, and his natural sexuality, he is to be presented as an internet bully for slapping his pork sausage alone in a dark room with a glowing computer monitor? Really? That is how the Catholic Women’s League is to deal with the issue? To say pornography victimizes women by breaking up marriages and negatively effecting the self image of women is simply to ignore that the other half of those scenarios are intrinsically linked to the exploited men involved and only supports the point I'm making. Men suffer proportionally more than women by the victimizing of pornography.
Is it any surprise male participation in Catholic observance is diminishing when they are intentionally singled out and psychologically victimized for an attack they have supposedly committed, simply by being exploited themselves. It’s ironic that if I were to say a woman was raped because of what she wore; I’d be strung up as a bigot and misogynist. Yet if a man is sexually exploited by a well organized and efficient pornography industry, he’s said to be an internet bully… and there is no outrage at this.
If I appear to be defensive about this issue it is because I am. I, like many if not most men my age, struggle with the temptation and pervasiveness of internet pornography and sex addiction. And to be told my failing in the execution of the resisting of sexual sin is also an act of violence is demeaning and insulting to the magnitude of the struggle I, and many others, grapple with every day. Pornography is a blight and evil. Those that are a victim of it are to be supported and helped, not vilified and condemned by politically driven feminist opportunists trying to win cheap political points at the Church's expense.
I hope to wear the white ribbon against pornography next year, assuming it is a ribbon against pornography and not the exploited victims of it.
